I was sitting at a table in Las Vegas, at a conference I'd saved up to attend, wearing clothes I didn't normally wear, trying to look like I belonged.

Everyone was talking seven figures. Intricate funnel systems. Marketing automation.

Then someone asked me: "What about you, Jake? What's your funnel look like?"

I felt my face get hot. "I, uh... I'm not at that level yet."

The truth? I didn't have a funnel.

I had an F-150 truck that I loaded up every weekend - 35 to 45 weekends per year - to work outdoor CrossFit competitions and race expos. I'd started Compete Every Day selling shirts out of the trunk of my car, and I was basically still doing the same thing, just with a bigger truck.

That night, I went back to my hotel room early. The relief of being alone hit me the moment the door closed. But so did the frustration - I'd spent the whole day performing for people whose scoreboard had nothing to do with mine.

Here's what I didn't realize then: Walking into a room shouldn't be a competition - but I'd made it one.

I was scanning for who was smartest, most successful, best dressed. Sizing myself up against everyone else based on their external scoreboards. But here's the trap: I was competing in a game where the rules kept changing and the scorekeeper was invisible.

It took my coach asking me one question to break the pattern: "What game are you actually trying to win?"

Not the room's game. MY game.

Real Competitors play a different game entirely.

They're not trying to be better than everyone in the room. They're trying to be better than the version of themselves who almost didn't show up.

Better than the you who stayed quiet instead of asking that question.

Better than the you who networked with safe people instead of challenging conversations.

Better than the you who left early instead of staying to learn something new.

Research shows we make upward comparisons - sizing ourselves up against people "better" than us - about 10-12 times per day. These comparisons reduce performance by triggering stress hormones.

But self-comparison? That improves results by 23%.

That's a scoreboard only you can see - and the only one that actually matters.

Here's what I do now before walking into any event:

1. I review my questions for others (being interested, not interesting).
2. I remind myself of MY game (what does "great" look like for me today?).
3. I set one intention (usually: "Be fully present").

When you compete with yourself, everything changes. Every room becomes a training ground. Every conversation becomes practice.

This is CLARIFY from the COMPETE framework - knowing exactly who you're competing with. Not the seven-figure entrepreneurs. Not the people with intricate funnels.

You're competing with the version of yourself who walked in yesterday.

That Las Vegas conference? I went back the next year. Same event. Different game. I wore comfortable clothes, asked real questions, and approached the people I'd been too intimidated to meet. I left energized instead of exhausted.

The irony? That's when people started remembering me. Not because I was trying to be the best in the room, but because I was committed to leaving better than I arrived.

One thing to do before your next event: Write down three genuine questions you want to ask people. Questions that serve your growth, not your ego.

Then remind yourself: The only scoreboard that matters is the one measuring you against the version of you who walked in last time.

I'm cheering for you, Reader,

Say hi 👋 on Instagram or LinkedIn​

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P.S. The person everyone remembers isn't the one who was already the best when they walked in. It's the one who left better than they arrived.

If you are stuck playing comparison games instead of competing for real growth, let's fix that by working together. [Click Here]​

Competitor Reflection:

What room are you walking into this week - and what would it look like to compete with yourself instead of comparing to others?