Last month at our annual professional speakers’ association conference, I was catching up with an old friend over coffee when she asked if we could talk privately.
“I have ADHD, you have ADHD - but you get so much done,” she said. “I’m drowning.”
She went on: “If my team needs something or my family needs something, I nail it every time. No problem. But the stuff I should be doing for MY business? The things that would actually move me forward? I punt them constantly.”
I could see the frustration in her eyes. Here’s someone building an incredible startup, but she felt like she was failing herself daily.
“Can I show you something?” I asked, pulling out my phone.
I opened my Todoist app and clicked the “overdue tasks” button. A long list appeared - stuff I’d been pushing off for days, even weeks.
“Oh my God,” she laughed. “You are human. You’re just like me.”
The Reality Check
Here’s what I told her - and what I need you to hear: We all struggle with this.
The difference isn’t that some people are productivity machines. The difference is in the systems we build to work with our human nature, not against it.
See, when other people are counting on us, accountability is built in. We feel obligated. We show up. But when it’s just us? When nobody else will know if we skip that important call or push off that project? That’s where we struggle.
The solution isn’t more willpower. It’s better systems.
My Three-Part System That Works
Here’s what I walked my friend through - the same system I use when my ADHD brain wants to chase every shiny object:
1. External Accountability:
I introduced her to another friend right there. “Every Monday, she emails you three non-negotiables she’ll complete by Friday. Every Friday at 5 PM, if you haven’t heard from her, text and ask for an update.”
Simple. But powerful. Even knowing someone MIGHT check creates the pressure we need.
2. Theme Your Days:
Stop bouncing between seventeen different projects. Pick days and time blocks. Wednesday 9-11 AM = speaking business follow-ups. Thursday afternoon = startup development.
Your brain craves focus, not constant context switching.
3. Grace Over Perfection:
I showed her my overdue list because I needed her to see the truth: We overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a quarter.
The goal isn’t a perfect day. It’s progress every day.
📅 The T.O.D.A.Y. Reality Check
When you’re struggling with execution, run through this quick framework:
T - Timing: What season of life are you in? My friend is in startup mode AND mom-of-multiple-kids mode. That’s different than my four-dogs-and-flexible-schedule mode. Factor that in.
O - Obligations: Wednesday might be hockey practice night. Thursday might be client calls. Plan around reality, not fantasy.
D - Dream: Connect today’s boring task to your bigger why. That cold call isn’t just a cold call - it’s building the business that gives your family security.
A - Attitude: You can’t control your circumstances, but you control your response. Choose energy over excuses.
Y - You vs. Yesterday: Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. Did you move forward today? That’s what matters.
Your Move
Pick ONE thing you’ve been putting off that only benefits you.
Not your team, not your family - something that moves YOUR goals forward.
Now find one person and tell them: “I’m going to complete [specific task] by [specific day]. Can you check in with me?”
Send that text before you close this email.
Remember: The comparison trap will make you believe everyone else has it figured out. They don’t. They just have systems.
Build the system. Trust the process. Win the day.
I'm cheering for you, Reader,
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P.S. If you're someone who needs that external accountability system we talked about, I'm launching something called Stack Day Society soon - 50 people max, weekly accountability, real coaching.
Click here to get on the waitlist.
Sometimes we all need someone in our corner who won't let us quit on ourselves.
Competitive Reflection
What story are you telling yourself about why you can't be productive with your own goals - and is that story actually true?
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