No fluff. No rah-rah. Just tactical, real-world strategies to help you compete today - at work, at home, in life. Because life’s too short to drift through it.
When "Being Realistic" Is Actually Self-Sabotage
Published 7 months ago • 5 min read
EVERY DAY COUNTS.
Compete to win yours.
Earlier this year, I found myself staring at my training calendar for a Hyrox race in Vegas.
My schedule was a mess of missed workouts, travel conflicts, and competing priorities. The voice in my head was crystal clear:
"Why even bother showing up? You're not going to place well anyway."
Sound familiar?
That voice isn't just talking to me about fitness competitions. It's the same one that whispers when you consider:
Starting that podcast ("There are already thousands of better ones")
Writing that newsletter ("Who would read it when experts already cover this?")
Going after that promotion ("Someone else is probably more qualified")
Changing your nutrition habits ("You'll never look like those fitness influencers")
This is what I call the "Why Bother" trap – and it might be the most effective form of self-sabotage I've ever encountered.
The Psychology Behind the Trap 🧠
Here's what makes this trap so dangerous: it feels like rational thinking.
"I'm just being realistic," you tell yourself. "I'm saving myself time and disappointment."
But what's really happening is more insidious.
Psychologists call this self-handicapping – creating obstacles to your own success to protect your self-image. It's a defense mechanism that operates on a simple, twisted logic:
If you never really try, you never have to face the possibility that your best isn't good enough.
Think about that.
We'd rather guarantee failure through inaction than risk failure despite our best efforts.
This trap functions as the perfect shield for your ego:
Never start the business = never have to find out if you could succeed
Skip the workout = blame your poor performance on lack of preparation, not lack of ability
Don't apply for the job = never have to face rejection
The most dangerous aspect? This all happens below your conscious awareness. You're not thinking, "I'm sabotaging myself today!" You're thinking, "I'm being smart about where I invest my energy."
Breaking Free of the Trap 🔓
The first step in breaking any trap is recognizing you're in one. Here are the warning signs you're caught in the "Why Bother" mindset:
You regularly compare your beginning to someone else's middle
You use phrases like "I could do that if I really wanted to"
You abandon efforts quickly when you're not immediately good at something
You find yourself thinking "that market is too saturated" before trying
Once you recognize the trap, here's how to escape it:
1. Redefine "winning" ✅
Stop making "being the best" your only definition of success.
When I committed to that Hyrox race despite my spotty training, I redefined what winning meant for me: showing up consistently for my remaining training sessions and completing the race to the best of my current ability.
Ask yourself: What does winning look like if it's not about being #1?
2. Celebrate the process, not just the outcome 🏆
The real victory is in becoming someone who shows up consistently, not someone who occasionally achieves perfection.
I've interviewed over 200 high performers on my podcast, and not one of them succeeded by waiting until conditions were perfect. They succeeded by embracing imperfect action.
Track your efforts, not just your outcomes.
For example:
Instead of focusing only on subscribers, celebrate publishing consistently
Instead of obsessing over sales numbers, track your daily prospecting actions
Instead of weighing yourself daily, acknowledge your streak of healthy meals
3. Build a "What You Can" practice 👍
Excellence is built on the foundation of "doing what you can" repeated consistently.
Start with the minimum viable effort that moves you forward:
Can't do a full workout? Do 10 minutes
Can't write a perfect proposal? Draft a rough outline
Can't overhaul your diet? Improve one meal
Taking imperfect action creates momentum that perfection paralysis never will.
4. Shift from comparison to contribution 🤝
Ask yourself: "What can I contribute?" instead of "How do I compare?"
This fundamentally changes your relationship with your work:
The saturated podcast market needs YOUR unique voice and perspective
Your team needs YOUR specific insights, even if you're not the most experienced
Your body benefits from YOUR workout today, regardless of what anyone else is doing
The Competitor's Mindset: Play Your Own Game 🎮
True competitors understand something that those trapped in the "Why Bother" mindset don't:
The real competition isn't out there. It's in the mirror.
Elite athletes don't skip training because they might not medal. They train to beat their personal best.
Top salespeople don't stop prospecting because they won't hit #1 this month. They focus on beating their numbers from last month.
Great leaders don't avoid challenges because someone else might handle them better. They embrace opportunities to develop and grow.
Remember this crucial truth from our COMPETE framework:
C - CLARIFY: Define exactly what game you're playing and who you're really competing with.
For most of us, that competition isn't external. It's internal. It's yesterday's version of yourself.
And you can't beat yesterday if you don't even show up today.
Your Action Plan: Beat the Trap 🏃♂️
Here's how to put this into practice this week:
Identify one goal where the "Why Bother" voice is loud What are you avoiding because you "can't be the best" at it?
Redefine what "winning" means for this specific goal Write down three measures of success that have nothing to do with being #1.
Commit to one imperfect action daily What's the smallest step you can take consistently?
Create a "proof of effort" system Track your actions, not just your outcomes. Build evidence that you're showing up.
Find an accountability partner who gets it Share this newsletter with someone who can help keep you honest about your efforts.
Final Thoughts
The fear of not being the best becomes most people's excuse for never becoming better at all.
But here's the uncomfortable truth: You don't have to be the best to make progress worth celebrating.
And you certainly don't have to be the best to start.
You just have to be better than you were yesterday.
And you can't be better if you don't bother showing up.
So... will you bother today?
I'm cheering for you, Reader,
PS - if you want help with reframining your targets AND staying accountable to them, consider working with my in my Cohort program here.
In case you were wondering: I finished - and only 90 seconds slower than my PR
Competitive Reflection
What's one area where you've fallen into the "Why Bother" trap?
Reply to this email and let me know - I read every response.
Here are some ways I can help you right now:
🎤 Hire meto keynote your next event or company program.
Getting too many emails? Click here to switch to the monthly version or click here to unsubscribe.
Compete Every Day | 2770 Main Street, Suite 138, Frisco, TX 75033 | Preferences
THE COMPETITOR PLAYBOOK
Compete With Purpose | by Jake Thompson
No fluff. No rah-rah. Just tactical, real-world strategies to help you compete today - at work, at home, in life. Because life’s too short to drift through it.