Ever feel like you're crushing goals but still empty inside?

There's a reason for that.

I spent my 20s chasing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. After grad school and quitting the dream of becoming a sports agent I had been chasing, I dove into consulting with one focus: how much money could I make?

Big salary. Flashy lifestyle. Being seen as "the guy who made it."

I chased external validation like it was oxygen - bar scene, women, status symbols - anything to prove I was "winning" at life.

But here's what nobody tells you about external motivation: it has an expiration date.

You hit the number. You get the promotion. You buy the car.

Then what?

That empty feeling that follows isn't failure - it's your internal compass screaming that you're playing the wrong game.

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The Elite Performer's Secret: Internal Drive Beats External Rewards 🏆

Ever wonder why some people sustain excellence for decades while others flame out after one success?

Research from Ashley Merryman and Po Bronson in their book Top Dog revealed something fascinating: elite distance runners competing at the national level (for money, medals, and glory) actually have the greatest intrinsic motivation.

Meanwhile, intermediate runners remain primarily focused on external rewards.

This pattern can repeat across every field:

• The best salespeople aren't just chasing commission
• The best leaders aren't just pursuing titles
• The best athletes aren't just collecting trophies

The masters are playing a deeper game - one fueled from within.

Self-determination studies confirm this pattern. External motivators (money, fame, status) provide short-term energy but create dependency. Internal motivators (purpose, mastery, autonomy) create sustainable drive that actually strengthens over time.

The competition that counts isn't for trophies - it's for becoming who you're capable of becoming.

The trophies simply become the byproduct of turning your focus internal.

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The "Why" That Never Expires 🔍

This is why the "Clarify" component of our COMPETE framework starts with three essential questions:

1. What's the game I'm playing?
2. Who am I in competition with?
3. Why does winning this game matter?

That third question is where most people go wrong.

If your answer is purely external (money, status, recognition), you're setting yourself up for the "I won, so what?" crash.

But when your "why" taps into something deeper - something that matters regardless of external validation - you've found sustainable fuel.

For me, the shift happened when I launched Compete Every Day.

Suddenly, I wasn't chasing validation or wealth. I was serving a mission bigger than myself - helping others unlock their potential and compete for their best lives.

The opportunities and growth came, but as byproducts rather than targets.

My game changed because my "why" changed.

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Find Your Unbreakable "Why" ⚡

Here's how to clarify your deepest motivation:

1. The Toyota 5 Why's: The car company is famous for asking a thread of 5 'Why' questions to get to the root cause of a problem. Let's take the same approach here.
   1. Why do I want to grow my business? To make more money.
   2. Why do I want more money? For financial security.
   3. Why do I want security? So I don't worry about providing for my family.
   4. Why does that matter? Because I want to be present with them, not distracted by financial stress.
   5. Why does that matter? Because meaningful connection with my family aligns with my core values.
2. The Legacy Question: What would you want said about you after you're gone? Not the achievements, but the impact. Those are your real values and your deepest motivations.
3. The Mentor Test: What would you advise someone you care about to pursue if they were in your exact position? We often see clarity for others that we miss for ourselves.

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Your Competition Isn't "Out There" 🔄

Every day, I see successful people who still feel like they're losing. They achieved the external markers but missed the internal alignment.

The game that matters isn't out in the marketplace - it's within you.

You aren't competing for resources, attention, or status. You're competing for alignment with your potential and your deepest values.

When you clarify that as your actual competition, external success follows naturally, and it feels fulfilling because it's connected to something that matters.

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Compete Differently 👊

Stop chasing things that can never satisfy.

Grab a blank page right now. Write down:

• What game are you really playing?
• Who are you truly competing with?
• Why does winning actually matter to YOU?

Be brutally honest with yourself. Cross out the external answers and dig deeper.

If you're only competing for what others can see and validate, you've set yourself up for emptiness.

But if you're competing to become the person you're capable of becoming, to live your values fully, to serve something bigger than yourself - you've found a game worth winning.

That's a competition that never gets old.

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I'm cheering for you, Reader,

Say hi 👋 on Instagram or LinkedIn​

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Competitive Reflection

What would you still pursue with excellence even if nobody ever knew you did it?

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Here are some ways I can help you right now: 🎤 Hire me to keynote your next event or company program. 📈 Grow your skillset through one of my guided digital courses. 📕 Read my two books, Compete Every Day & Lead Better Now. 👕 Reinforce your winning mindset by wearing something empowering. ​

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