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THE COMPETITOR PLAYBOOK

Your best people aren't quitting for money (here's the real reason)


EVERY DAY COUNTS.

Compete to win yours.

You hired them because they were the best.

Six months later, they're gone. Sound familiar?

I was talking to a construction company owner last month who lost three team members in four months - all solid performers who got recruited by competitors offering "better opportunities." His first instinct was to blame the money, figure they got outbid by someone with deeper pockets.

It's always about the money, right?

But is it really?

Here's the reality: Nearly 70% of people who quit their jobs between 2021-2023 did so because of lack of feedback and appreciation. And get this - over one-third of employees only get feedback once per quarter. People want to grow, but we're starving them of what they need.

In other words, people who want to grow in their careers want to receive feedback and simply aren't getting it.

And when we do give it? Many of us are fumbling the ball.

Here's the Uncomfortable Truth

We've become experts at pointing out what's wrong, but we're absolutely terrible at praising what's right.

In construction, where safety violations and quality issues demand immediate correction, leaders have trained themselves to spot problems faster than a building inspector on a bad day. But somewhere along the way, we forgot that people - even tough, experienced professionals - need to know when they're succeeding too.

It's not just in construction or manufacturing either.

Sales managers are notorious for only praising closed deals, while simultaneously ignoring feedback on the habits and behaviors that influence those positive outcomes.

And today's workforce has more options than ever. They don't have to stay under managers who only speak up when something goes wrong, and they certainly don't have to tolerate leadership that treats acknowledgment like a scarce resource.

The companies winning this war for talent aren't necessarily paying the highest wages - they're creating environments where good performance gets acknowledged just as quickly as poor performance gets corrected.

Why the "Feedback Sandwich" Doesn't Work

Most of us were raised on the feedback sandwich - start with good news, give them the bad news, then finish with good news.

Here's the problem: your brain doesn't process positive and negative feedback equally. Negative news carries more weight, so when you bury one criticism between two compliments, guess which one sticks?

The criticism. The positive feedback gets dismissed as filler, and the person walks away feeling like they're falling short.

The Seesaw Method That Actually Works

Instead of the sandwich approach, think of feedback like a seesaw. You need balance - equal weight on both sides to keep things level.

For every piece of corrective feedback you deliver, you must provide one piece of equally detailed positive feedback. Not someday when you remember, but balanced in the same conversation.

If you're pointing out two safety violations during your morning walkthrough, acknowledge two specific things they're executing flawlessly. This isn't feel-good management theory - it's how the human brain stays motivated for improvement.

Make it specific.

"Good job" dies on arrival faster than poorly mixed concrete. Your positive feedback needs to be as detailed as your problem identification:

Instead of: "Good job yesterday."

Try: "Your crew preparation work yesterday was exceptional - materials staged properly before shift start, tools organized and accounted for, safety equipment distributed and checked, and your guys knew exactly what they were doing the moment they hit the site."

Make it timely.

Don't wait for formal performance reviews. Two-minute conversations spread throughout the week beat hour-long quarterly reviews that feel like interrogations.

"But They're Getting Paid to Do Their Job"

This might be the single most expensive mindset plaguing leadership today.

Yes, they're getting paid to perform, but rewarded behavior becomes repeated behavior. In today's hypercompetitive labor market, your definition of "adequate performance" is someone else's foundation for "excellent opportunity."

Even your top performers need to know they're valued. The average cost to replace a great employee can range from 20-35% of their salary when you factor in recruiting, training, lost productivity, and mistakes during the learning curve.

A two-minute feedback conversation costs you nothing except the commitment to do it consistently.

"We Don't Have Time for This"

I hear this constantly. Deadlines are crushing you, projects are behind schedule, the economy's working against you, and clients are breathing down your neck.

But here's what's actually costing you more time: constantly replacing your best team members who walk away feeling undervalued.

A 2023 Gallup study showed that "80% of employees report being fully engaged, regardless of how many days they work in the office when they receive regular feedback." A separate study of over 65,000 employees found that employees who "received strengths-based feedback had turnover rates 14.9% lower than those who received no feedback."

You're already spending time every day correcting problems - spending equal time acknowledging excellence isn't additional work, it's balanced leadership.

Start Tomorrow Morning

Pick one person on your team right now. For the next seven days, practice the Seesaw Method without fail:

  1. Balance every correction with equal recognition. If you point out one problem, acknowledge one success in the same conversation.
  2. Make your positive feedback as specific as your negative feedback. No more "good job" throwaway comments. Be as detailed in your praise as you are in your problem identification.
  3. Find at least one legitimate feedback opportunity every day. Not forced or artificial, but genuine recognition for work that moves your project forward.

Watch how their engagement level changes. Watch how their performance shifts when they know their efforts are being noticed. Watch how their attitude toward challenges improves when they're not operating from a constant deficit of recognition.

The best leaders build exceptional people who want to stay and grow with the organization. And people who feel genuinely valued don't spend their evenings scrolling job boards looking for "better opportunities."

They create those opportunities exactly where they are.

I'm cheering for you, Reader,

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Want help changing your relationship giving feedback?

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Competitive Reflection

What's one specific thing your team executed flawlessly this week that deserves detailed recognition? Start there, and watch what happens.

Here are some ways I can help you right now:

  1. 🎤 Hire me to keynote your next event or company program.
  2. 📈 Grow your skillset through one of my guided digital courses.
  3. 📕 Read my three books, Compete Every Day, Lead Better Now, & The Line.
  4. 👕 Reinforce your winning mindset by wearing something empowering.

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THE COMPETITOR PLAYBOOK

No fluff. No rah-rah. Just tactical, real-world strategies to help you compete today - at work, at home, in life. Because life’s too short to drift through it.

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